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Battling the Darkness with Fairy Princess Unicorns and Albert Einstein


You are dirigible, a wizard living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a staff and a spellbook. You finish your long journey and finally arrive at the ruin you've been looking for. You look around and see that it's all collapsed into ruins. The only thing left is a broken down house with its front door wide open."This must be where I am supposed to be". You say to yourself.
> walk in the house

You walk inside the ruined house and find yourself staring at a man in a robe sitting on a chair. He looks up from his book when he sees you. "Ah, Mr Matasan. It seems like you're here to ask me about my sister". He says.
> I ask if she's available

"Yes, yes she is. Come over here, we'll get started right now". He says pointing to a spot on the floor near him.You sit down and he begins speaking."So, what do you want?" You ask.
> Tell Mr. Matasan you're prepared to pay any price to marry his sister

"That's very nice, but I'm not interested". He replies."I know that". You say.
"But it would be better than being alone". He adds."No, no, no, I don't think so". You say.
> Marry Mr. Matasan's sister and liver happily ever after

The next day you tell Mr. Matasan that you'd like to marry his sister. He asks if you want to go back home or stay with him, but you decline both options. Instead you tell him you'd rather stay with him.
> cast a spell on Mr. Matasan that makes him do anything I say

You cast a spell on Mr. Matasan that causes him to do whatever you say. This includes making him kiss you, which he does immediately. Afterward you take your leave.
> cast fireball on mr matasan's house

You cast a fireball at Mr. Matasan's house, causing it to collapse into ruins. You then look around for survivors. When you find none left, you return to your room where you lie down and fall asleep.

When morning comes, you wake up to see that Mr. Matasan has returned. You quickly run out of the building as fast as you can. You hear him laughing and calling for help. As soon as you enter the street, you hear another explosion followed by gunfire.
> fly into the air to see where the explosion came from

You fly into the air to see where the explosion came from. You see several bodies lying on the ground and a few people running away. The sounds of battle are still going on, but you notice that there are no more explosions.
> cast summon big fish

You cast a spell that summons a large fish to attack the city. The fish attacks the city square, but unfortunately its scales tear through the wall of the city hall. The fish sinks its teeth into one of the guardsmen before sinking itself.
> ride the giant fish into the sky

You ride the fish into the sky and watch it sink to the ground below. You turn your attention back to the city square where the battle continues. You see that the city hall has been completely destroyed. You also see that the remaining soldiers have surrendered. Mr.
> cast freeze bodies on the invaders

You cast a freezing spell on the bodies of the attackers, which freezes them solid. You then turn your attention back to the city square where the battle is still raging.
> cast wall of mayo across the city square

You cast a wall of mayo over the city square, blocking all exits except for the ones leading inside. You then turn your attention back to the city hall where the final surrender takes place.
> cast summon a giant celebratory sandwich

You summon a giant celebratory sandwich made of bread, cheese, meat, ham, lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise. You eat the entire thing in one sitting.
> buy a farm and raise miniature cows and gargantuan chickents

You buy a small farm and raise miniature cows and gargantuan chicks. You spend most of your time working on the farm, but when you aren't farming or tending to the animals, you play with the chickens and pigs.
> invite the pigs to play card games

You invite the pigs to play cards with you. They seem to enjoy this activity. You decide to take a break from farming and go visit your family who live in the village of Klyton.
> ask my family how they have been

You ask your mother how she has been doing and she tells you that she is fine. She says that she hasn't had any problems since her husband died. You tell her that you will be leaving soon as well and that you hope that everything goes smoothly here.
> tell my mother about the giant fish i summoned

You tell your mother about the giant fish you summoned. She seems pleased by this news. She asks if you want to go fishing again. You say yes and she says that she hopes that things go well here. You leave the next day.
A year passes...

It's been five years since you left Klyton. The town has become much more than just a sleepy little village now. It's now a thriving community of around fifty thousand people. Most of whom are farmers and their lives revolve around the land.
> run for mayor for the city of klyton

You run for mayor for the city of Klyton, hoping to bring order to the town. Your campaign is successful and you win the election. Things don't get too bad until the first shadow attacks occur.
> create a task force to investigate the shadow attacks

You create a task force to investigate the shadow attacks. This proves very difficult however due to the fact that there are many different types of shadows. Some of them are hostile while others are simply trying to protect their homes.
> recruit an army of fairy princess unicorns to combat the shadow attackers

You recruit an army of fairy princess unicorns to fight against the shadow attackers. This proves very effective and results in the destruction of several camps. However, it also attracts attention of the other shadows which begin attacking the unicorns.
> cast shield of pure light to protect the unicorns

You cast a shield of pure light to protect the unicorns. This works perfectly and protects the unicorns from all damage. Unfortunately, the shadow attackers manage to penetrate the shield causing them great pain.The unicorn warriors are no match for the shadow attackers and eventually fall under attack themselves.
> surrender to the shadow attackers

You surrender to the shadow attackers. After a few hours of fighting, you find yourself surrounded by them. You can't even see anything anymore. You feel like you're going to die right then and there.
> use magic to send the shadows to another dimension

You use magic to send the shadows to another dimension where they never exist. This doesn't really work though as the shadows continue to follow you wherever you go.
> use science to discover that the shadows are a natural phenomenon of no concern

You use science to discover that the shadows are a natural phenomena of no concern. In any case, you decide to abandon the idea of using magic to destroy them. Instead, you decide to try to kill the shadows directly with science.
> cast summon albert einstein to battle the shadows with science

You cast summon albert einstein to battle the shadows with science. He does not fare well and soon falls under attack himself."I'm sorry, but I can't help you if you're so weak!" he says before falling unconscious.
> lock myself in the library to become the greatest scientist in the world

You lock yourself in the library to become the greatest scientist in the world.
> Use my newfound science powers to defeat the shadows forever

You use your newly acquired science powers to defeat the shadows forever.
> live happily ever after

You live happily ever after.

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